The Short Conclusion

So wrapping up my pregnancy with Addisyn...

It was hard. And it was long. At least the first half. By about 20 weeks or so I started to feel normal again, and I was blessed to have a relatively happy 2nd half of the pregnancy. There were times I threw up off and on until the end, but I got to experience a pretty normal last 20 weeks all things considered.

I was also blessed to have a very easy, and quick labor and delivery. THAT WAS AWESOME! I had an epidural starting at 4 cm, but it worked for me. When I was admitted to the hospital I told the nurses, "I don't want to be a hero...I just want this to be as quick and painless as possible." And it really was! If the labor and delivery had been as traumatizing as the first half of pregnancy had been I can guarantee... Addisyn would've been an only child. God knew...

Really... I can't think of much more to say about it. There was one breakthrough point I remember, though. I don't remember how far along I was, but it was at one of the lowest points for me. I hadn't left the house for weeks, and I probably hadn't showered in 3 or 4 days. (Showering was the worst... I would either almost pass out because I was so weak, or I would get so sick I would be puking the whole time IN THE SHOWER!) The depression was at an all time high....

It was a Friday night and we were having a worship night at church with Bob Perry. My mom knew I was bad off...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually...she basically called me and said "Shower and get dressed as best as you can, i'm picking you up for worship night." I remember crying almost the whole time. I was so desperate. So empty. So unsure of how my life had gotten to this point. But God came! Just like He promised. I got prayer and received breakthrough from the darkness and depression. Did I still throw up a lot? Yes... But I was able to smile again. I was able to see that my life was not over.

Now as I look back on my pregnancy with Addisyn, it seems so surreal. Like another person went through that. Like it was another life entirely. Kind of like people say about an awful childbirth, the details of it are a blur...but the overall memory is a hard one.

Now i'm pregnant again. And this time it has some similarities and some differences... I would say i'm doing better this time around. Yes, i've had many iv's and a hospital stay and a whole batch of abnormal thyroid tests...but it seems to be better.

Today it has been one week since i've thrown up! That is a miracle from an Almighty God. I know it is, not only because it's so unexpected, but also because He told me it was. My precious Heavenly Father told me that I am healed...but that's a post all it's own...