Expectations, a tough thing.

This post may be kinda random, but this is my blog so I can be random if I want to:)

Today as I was brainlessly surfing the internet, I came across an interesting blog. I will go ahead and say that "No, I do not know this girl who's blog I read!" (That drives Eric nuts)...but she really had a powerful story to share.

She was telling her own story (much like i'm doing) about pregnancy...only her story was about battling infertility, trying to get pregnant, and trusting God with it all. She works in an OBGYN office, and she shared the sorrow of seeing patient after patient come in, get pregnant, and then have beautiful babies...and yet she and her husband tried to get pregnant for years with no luck. Finally though, she received her miracle and she and her husband were able to conceive! She shares her joy and her gratitude to God for a miracle.

Her story didn't end there though. The day after she got a positive pregnancy test...she started bleeding. She has not miscarried yet, but every day is a trial. She is now getting weekly ultrasounds to make sure her baby still has a heartbeat, and she is constantly bleeding.

Along with the bleeding, she also has had to deal with some very severe kidney stones! She was admitted to the hospital and received many treatments that she wished she didn't have to, considering the pregnancy. She has already tried for years to get pregnant, is now bleeding during her pregnancy, and is having to have these treatments for her kidneys that are considered to be only "generally safe" during pregnancy!!!

As for now, that's where her blog posts end. She last posted this week...she was 11 weeks along. Same as I am now.

During one of her posts, she made the most profound statement.... "One of the most difficult things in life is when we have to grieve the loss of our own expectations." How true! Obviously she had to grieve the loss of her expectations! She wanted children years before she was able to conceive, expected an easy pregnancy, and just wanted to have that "glowing feeling" the whole time. Wow. Her testimony was beautiful though... She trusts God because He is faithful.

Now I am sorry if I seem like a creepy stalker for getting so involved in this woman's story. My heart broke for her though. I could so relate, yet at the same time I can't even imagine the hardships she is going through. I do, however, know what it's like to "grieve the loss of my own expectations." The expectations of how you think pregnancy is going to go... or just life in general. We all have to do it at one point or another and it is never easy. Everyone has expectations and they don't always come about like we think they should. At the end of the day, we can only trust that "God causes ALL THINGS to work together for GOOD to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)